~ A Woman at Heart ~

2009-02-26T17:39:00.004+08:00

Nailah was down with a fever of 38.9 degree celsius. The teacher at the childcare called me as I was about to go for my lunch at 12 30pm yesterday. I was told that Nailah had vomitted twice since morning. I phoned hubby and we decided that I should take urgent 1/2 day leave. I have such an understanding boss and really thankful for that.

Hubby fetched me at Buangkok at 1 10pm and we went to fetch Nailah. When we reached there, it was nap time for the kids. I saw Nailah curled up under her blanket, it breaks my heart. My poor lil girl. She is such an independent and strong kid. She looked really exhausted but wasn't even cranky.

We went to the doc, had a quick lunch at Rivervale Mall and went home to sleep. Hubby took a day off too.

In the middle of her sleep, she woke up and vomitted at 6pm. She was crying weakly and calling me out, "Mama... Mama...". I washed her up and dressed her in her PJ, and she fell asleep in the playpen while I was cleaning up her vomit on my bed.

Today is my leave day as Naiah needs to go KKH for her check-up. All went well, we'll see the ped in 8 mths time. Hubby bought me to Tekka temporary market, as I felt like eating indian rojak. It was raining heavily but we made sure Nailah is sheltered from the rain. The rojak stall I wanted to go can't be found so I ended up ordering from another rojak stall. It tasted so much different, but enough to fill my tummy. So,no complaining.

Oh, we bought Nailah a pair of Croc hehe. PINK Croc! It's the tiniest Croc I ever seen! So cute on her! :)

So far since 9 am, no sign of fever. Hopefully, the fever doesn't come back. I'll be back to work tomorrow. Yeah, TGIF tomorrow!:)

2009-02-15T12:06:00.002+08:00

I need to hear your voice in times like this

I need you to comfort me like you used to do.

I want you to take me in your arms

And tell me that everything's gonna be ok.

I wanna pour out my innermost feelings to you

Like I used to do...

I need you.

Like I used to...

2009-02-01T15:26:00.004+08:00

For the first time, I cooked for my little girl! Yes! It was a success, she loves the porridge with powdered anchovies. All this while, I was so clueless cooking for a toddler and did not have courage to even try it out. Nailah have been eating cereals and instant baby foods. Now, say no more to those instant cereals. Mama will be making lots more new dishes for her taste bud.

Nailah also loves eating macaroni on its own.

Nailah is now beginning to immitate me and hubby. She loves goin out and knows where to find keys to open the door. Just look at her! She evens knows what is a handbag for. Vanity starts at a young age hehe.

2009-01-07T13:32:00.004+08:00

Managed to cook 2 dishes last night upon returning home from work. Nailah slept at 9 15pm and I began cooking. It was stir-fried baby kai lan and chicken in honey-glazed gravy. Hubby loved the chicken in honey-glazed gravy. Surprisingly, he ate the veggie knowing that he doesn't quite like it.

I only slept at 11 15pm as I watched a drama. Good thing that I am not sleepy at work now! haha. It is a busy day for me, lotsa work to do. I'm targetting to finish it all by 6pm today. I know its possible :)

2009-01-05T14:24:00.004+08:00

Last night, before hubby headed to work at 7pm, he ordered Mac delivery for me as promised. It was a meal of McChicken with Sprite. I just felt lazy to do up anything in the kitchen.

When the food arrived, I found out that my McChicken doesn't include the lettuces! I decided to eat it anyway as I was hungry. Hubby called 5 minutes later and asked for my feedback. I told him about it and he demanded for an exchange. I dismissed the idea as I've already eaten half of the burger haha. Minutes later, hubby called me that Mac will deliver another set of McChicken and with fries soon! Hehe thank you, hubby!

When the food arrived (again), I thought of putting it aside for hubby when he returns from work BUT it was so tempting that I ate another McChicken, but this time, I couldn't finish the fries. Nailah ate lots of fries despite just having had her dinner of yoghurt raspberry cereal.

Nailah and I fooled around in the room and snapped some pics while getting ready for bed. She doesn't seemed sleepy whereby its 9pm, her usual bedtime! She climbed down the bed several times and ran around the room hehe. At 10 20pm, she fell asleep.

This morning is Nailah's 2nd day at the toddler class. She was previously from the infant class. Look at my little girl in her uniform. She knows that she is going to school when I put on the uniform on her. Despite being sleepy still, she woke up and get dressed. Gosh, she is such a big girl now... Where is the baby girl that were once in my arms...

2008-12-28T10:59:00.000+08:00

I Am The Desert

To be in a desert without an oasis is better than to be starved by love.

I am the desert; you are the oasis, the mirage.

I see you.

I need you.

Without you I am not complete.

Without you I die a thirsty woman.

You are there, yet you are an illusion.

You are utterly unattainable.

Without you I am nothing but the lonely desert sand blowing cross the world.

2008-12-21T22:58:00.004+08:00

Brought Nailah to PasirRis park last night. The last time we been there was when Nailah was 3 months old! Nailah enjoyed herself very much there. She was a little scared of sitting on the swing at first, and warmed up eventually after hubby gave her some encouragement. We were there for 2 hours.

Nailah fell asleep in the car on the way home. She was so exhausted after exploring the park on her 2 feet.

Took this picture this evening.... Decided to put on my flower on her. My little girl for you.

2008-12-17T13:22:00.002+08:00

I'm at work, and its lunch time. Instead, I decided to forgo my lunch as I've just done with the food demo session.

I'm thinking...

It's been a year and a half since I gave birth to Nailah.

And...

I wanna do it all over again.

For the second and last time.

I miss being pregnant

I miss having the pregnancy glow on my face

I miss having a bigger tummy than my usual

I miss having sleepless nights due to the baby's active movements

I miss feeling tiny kicks and punches

I miss popping in sour plums and folic acid

I miss the pre-natal checkups and ultrasounds

I miss feeling extra special

I miss indulging in my cravings

In short,

I miss the power of pregnancy.

2008-12-01T13:40:00.004+08:00

I guessed so. A mother's instinct never lie!

The whitish patches in Nailah' mouth is ORAL THRUSH. Not from her milk.

Bought Nailah to the doc yesterday and were given an oral thrush gel. The thrush seems so much better this morning. Nailah never had oral thrush though. 2 days ago after her bath, I simply folded her upper lip to see the inner lip, then to my horror, I know this has got to be oral thrush. Why did I fold the upper lip? I don't know too, I never did that before. Just that at that time, I happen to do that. God is great, ya? Else, I will never know that my poor girl is having oral thrush.

Bought her an infant toothbrush too. She was so new to the whole idea. It's time to start practising good oral hygiene,my girl. Love seeing her pearly whites after a session of tooth-brushing! :)

Also bought her a sippy cup. She loves it! Watching her sipping just makes me think of how much my girl has grown. She also drinking more plain water eversince the transition to sippy cup. Dats a very gd thing.

Now, I know that the phrase "Mother Knows Best" is very true!

2008-11-29T23:22:00.006+08:00

We brought Nailah for a swim today. It has been quite sometime though,since fasting month. She was very happy today,spalshing away. I didn't join in as I thought it was just a quick trip, just to make her have some fun. Weather was hot and it was 5pm! After that, we had dinner at Jalan Kayu and went home halfway through my meal as Nailah was already super cranky! She is beginning to show some tantrums lately, which is so typical of toddlers. I had to pack my meal and we proceeded home. Hubby is working tonight so its just me and Nailah. Just done with sweeping and mopping the entire house. Nailah is soundly asleep.

On the 18th of Nov, I attended my company's Dinner & Dance. The theme was "Once Upon A Time". Guess what, as surprising as it may sound, it was my 1st ever DND! :) It was a BLAST! Hubby fetched me at 11pm that night. It was still a young night but I left early as it is a working day tomorrow.

I shall leave it to your guessing which fairytale I was from... :)

Last week, Nailah was down with high fever. Her temperature was at 39.9 degree celsius! That was what I had during my 8th month of pregnancy. I felt like dying! But Nailah is just so strong. She wanted to have a walk in the neighbourhood and go to the zoo. Even the ped was surprised. She was very cranky and demanding though. This was the 1st time Nailah got really sick.

An afternoon walk in our neighbourhood.

At the zoo. It was Nailah's 1st ever zoo trip!

Drowsy and sleepy after her medication.

Cranky during the day and wanted to be carried all the time.

2008-10-11T14:50:00.003+08:00

Hope we are not too late to wish..

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

Maaf Zahir & Batin

Tulus ikhlas dari Iqah, Irwan dan Nailah!

I have been as busy as a bee for the past weeks. Was juggling with my time with Nailah, my much needed rest and work. But I'm glad now that my work is back to its normal pace. Phew! haha. It's amazing how I multi-tasked at work! Gosh you should see me haha.

Though its been a week plus of Hari Raya, I still can't get enough of Raya dishes. Gotta find ways to get those lauk... I don't think I can cook them that well though. Or I just have to wait till next year Raya...

Nailah is such a big girl now. She is opening up all the cupboards and drawers at home, especially the ones in the kitchen. There is just absolutely nothing I can do to prevent that. Daddy lets her do whatever she wants.

2008-09-01T12:52:00.006+08:00

Today marked the 1st day of Ramadan. I feel so numb that I don't know what should I be feeling. I mean I am thankful that the holy month is here but the thought of not going through this sacred month without my loved ones, just makes me so numb inside. So many emotions yet no words to describe it. Definitely, I feel sad. Period.

I miss my family. Miss having the pre-dawn meals and breaking fast with them. Also, I am sad by the thought of people whom I know, spending their time behind bars in this holy month. I just miss all of them! I do hope that they all are well and going thru the month with an open heart. I hope they remember me... and the times we used to spend together during this sacred month...

Right now is actually my lunch time at work, and here I am updating my long-abandoned blog. I have been very private nowadays... partly due to the fact that there's no one to hear me out haha. Or that no one will understand my emotions. My emotions do run wild at times, flooding me with sadness and disappointments. Big question, Am I depressed? I don't know, you people. I'm just passing by each day. But for sure, Nailah do brighten my life every sec! Oh I just love her kisses... Any mother would understand me on this.

I'll upload latest pics of her when I have the time.. Nowadays, I'm just so occupied and too lazy to update my blog.

Selamat Berpuasa!

2008-08-06T23:36:00.002+08:00

Went to Changi Prison today to see how our Pizza Hut Warm Chocolate cake is made. KFC and Pizza Hut are active supporters of the Yellow Ribbon Project, so we always join SCORE to help give jobs to convicts,educating and giving them a 2nd chance in life.

The moment I entered the prison, I have mixed feelings. It was a little sadness, a tinge of regret, pityness and a little nervous. I remembered my interview there, where I nearly got a job as a prison officer and had to forgo it as I found out I was 2 mths pregnant. My heart was saying "This is where you belong...". Oh my! I was so torn. But I know that was the past. I'm now a mother and I wanna go home and be with my daughter... I can't afford to have a 12-hour shift job and not being able to see her for 2 days in a row... My heart sank deeper when I saw the prison officers... boo hoo hoo. Also, I was sad as the prison reminded me of my cousin and a friend who are serving their 7 year sentence for drug abuse and also for the convicts there. I pity the family members whom I saw coming to visit their loved ones. Some of their wives are pregnant or have little kids and babies ... I pity the innocent kids having to grow up without a father figure.

The place has a sombre atmosphere. The lighting was faint, there were walls and concrete everywhere. Despite it all, the prison will have a special place in my heart.

At the production room, we get to taste various cakes and pastries. The convicts are a talented bunch. I was given a cute and tiny birthday cake! Gosh, I was so touched. It was so nice of the chef. In fact, the convicts wanted to sing me a birthday song but they aren't allowed too. Awww so sweet of the guys. See, even people like that can be nice. I have never looked down on these people as I know deep in my heart they are still human and can still feel emotions, its just that they are born with weaknesses. My heart reach out to them. I hope that they will change for the better and move on with life. This also goes to my dear cousin and friend. Life have so much to offer!

Overall, I had a wonderful birthday at the prison! It was a memorable 23th birthday! :)

I'll miss the prison.

2008-08-05T09:43:00.009+08:00

Gosh, I know I've not been updating my bloggie for quite some time. But I did try and try to blog each night, if its possible. Thinking back when I was single (but attached), I have nothing to do except to update my dear blog each day. In fact, blog used to be my place to find solace... and it still is. Hey, a blog doesn't judge you right?

I'm now at work and my morning started well. Though I slept at 1am last night, I still could take my sweet time getting ready and used one of my perfume which I didn't use for a long long time. The smell definitely brings back memories of my poly days. I feel like a student this morning!

It's already been 2 months of work for me. Up to date, the work is fine for me. In fact, I love it. I love doing purchasing. It's very challenging and each day, you are faced with new things and happenings. I'm doing a little shipping too, keeping track of imports. Well, you might be wondering in what company I'm working in... It's Finger Lickin' Good... and The Best Pizza's Under One Roof... Yeah, I'm working for both as these are Multi-brand restaurants. What more suitable company for a fastfood junkie like me to work in haha. Fastfood is something I'm passionate of. It actually includes Taco Bell too but Taco Bell is going to be closed down. So Taco Bell lovers, please note that Taco Bell will no longer be in Singapore as sales have not been good. Guess Singaporeans aren't familiar with or unwilling to 'salsa' with Mexican food... But I'm gonna be sad as I love the Chicken Burrito. Distance wise, it's very convenient for me as its only a 40 minutes journey. And since its a 5-days work week, it passes by so fast! To top it up, company policy doesn't have overtime. Before each promotion is launched, I get to be the one to taste it 1st and sometimes, there's food while we are working as there's a kitchen below where they do Research & Development on new items and Quality Analysis. The thing that I'm most happy is that I play one of the key role in the succes of KFC and Pizza Hut islandwide. I'm so thankful for my 1st job.

Do try our Starzbites Cheesy Extreme and Variety Value Meal with the NEW shrimp nuggets!

Some updates of the little miss.... Nailah is growing up so fast each day. She now dances to any tunes! She gives flying kisses, points at objects or people, eager to try the food that we eat, kisses our face, stands and take some steps forward, loves swimming, sings whenever hubby and I sing and loves watching Playhouse Disney! She 'talks' too with strong expressions. She even knows how to 'scold' hubby and I whenever we made her angry haha. She is such a sweetheart. She has her daddy around her little fingers as daddy submits to her demand...unlike mama. Now that she is a toddler and more aware of her surroundings, I never fail to bring her out every weekend as its so fun watching her having fun.

I'm turning 23 tomorrow! One year older... Alhamdulilah.

2008-07-27T21:31:00.002+08:00

We brought Nailah to the swimming complex yesterday. She had a great time! She loves water. I think she is learning how to swim as from the video, you can see that she was kicking her legs! And she seemed so relaxed!

We then went to Downtown East E Hub... there was nothing much there.. so boring indeed. The indoor play gym wasn't for Nailah's age either. After getting ourselves a yogurt drink (it was my first time drinking yogurt shake!), we proceeded to Changi... the nasi lemak heaven!

2008-06-13T23:12:00.007+08:00

So we celebrated Nailah's 1st birthday!

She dipped her fingers in the pink cream trimmings before we can get hold of her hand! Our birthday girl is so engrossed with her cake :)

I ordered a cake 4 days ago and collected it after my work ended today. Since its Friday, I'm so much in the mood :)

My baby is now a TODDLER! Gosh, just a year ago, at this moment, Nailah was in the NICU after my emergency c-section. She was barely a day old. *tears welling up*

Look at her now... She loves playing with my hair, gives us kisses, says 'mama' and 'baba', stands on her own and laughs heartily.

We had the mini party at MIL's. It was a cosy and humble affair of family and some close friends of hubby's. Alhamdulilah, everything went smoothly. I was very pleased with the mini bash. Even Nailah was! She was very expressive that night haha.

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY, NAILAH!

Mama and Daddy doakan panjang umur

Murah Rezeki dan

Menjadi anak yg solehah dan bahagia. Amin.

2008-06-02T23:22:00.002+08:00

I know its been some time since I last updated. Guess what? I am a working mom now! Yeah,I still find it hard to believe. The truth have not sunk in yet. It will in a week's time I guess. So far I'm at the 3rd day of work. Wondering who is taking care of Nailah? Hubby takes care of her when I'm at work since he works part-time at night. I don't quite like the fact of sleeping without him on most nights but this is one sacrifice we have to make for the sake of Nailah. We don't wanna put her in a childcare....not now at least.

And this is also the 3rd day since I'm at our new house. I have adjusted to the new environment but Nailah hasn't. She likes the house but expects me to be within her sight ALL THE TIME! Else,she'll cry bloody murder. She is suddenly so clingy to me or hubby. I thought the clingy phrase should be long time over? Nevertheless,she sleeps well in our new house. It's so nice having a house to call our own. We love it!

Now that I've started working,my time is so limited and weekends seem so short. I don't sleep later than 11pm on weekdays. But I'll try to make the best of it to wind down and spend time with Nailah and hubby. I admit that I miss Nailah so much while I'm on my way to work and at work. I nearly cried when I was in the train on my 1st day to work. But I know she is is great hands of her daddy. Nothing beats the happiness of seeing her face when I'm home.

Got to go to bed and join the sleeping Nailah now...Tomorrow is my fourth day of work. Good night!

2008-05-19T04:22:00.001+08:00

Out in stores now!!!

Hurry and grab this Limited Edition copy!!!

2008-05-17T23:00:00.007+08:00

It's been awhile since Nailah did anything to her hair. It's getting thicker and longer. Her fringe is getting into her eyes and I always need to tie them up and she always have to pull the rubberband out. So I decided that she NEEDS a haircut,for her convenience and so that the hair could grow back nicely. We took a bus and met hubby halfway and then we proceeded to Parkway Parade.

She asleep on my shoulder while I entered the kids' saloon. I asked the hairdresses whether it's ok to have a haircut on my sleeping princess and the hairdresser nodded. Halfway through,she woke up and remained speechless while her bangs were chopped off.

My china doll...

From now onwards,I will keep her hair longer and will only cut the fringe from time to time.

Gosh, she'll be a toddler real soon...

Where is the tiny baby I once held?

Please don't grow up so fast, Nailah.

Sob sob.

2008-05-13T12:06:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 11 MONTH OLD,NAILAH!

You are showing 2 bottom teeth already. As day go by,you are imitating our actions well. No doubt,you are one talented and smart little girl. A little of a primadonna too haha. We love you!

And...

Happy 1st Mother's Day to me!

Gosh,it seemed like yesterday I was only just a school girl excitedly hunting for a gift for my mother on this special day. But now,this year,I AM THE ONE CELEBRATING IT! My marital status have upgraded to.... a "mother of one".

There are always moments when I wonder what the heck I got myself into, having Nailah at a young age. And then there are moments when I wonder what I’d do without Nailah.

Happy Mothers Days to all mothers! :)

2008-05-10T06:31:00.004+08:00

It's just so hard to believe that Nailah is just 3 days shy of turning 11 months old! I saw some signs that teeth will be out soon. There is a little whitish colour on the lower part of her gum. And when I felt it,it was like the teeth of a mini saw haha. My,I just can't wait to see those pearly whites :) As part of the teething process,she plays with her tongue by sticking it in and out hehe.

Nowadays,she loves moving to any tune made by people. But of course,her Mama and Daddy have one catchy signature tune for her that she very well recognize. She also loves engaging in 'conversations'. She is doing well now except for some light runny nose so she is just on the runny nose med.

2008-05-06T19:07:00.003+08:00

Last night at 7pm,we brought Nailah to the ped. Her temperature was normal. Latest weight check is 8.4kg. I was expecting her to be heavier than that. But its ok,so long as she is drinking her milk well,eating her solids and is active. We were given medicine for her cough and runny nose. She is a little better today. For the past 2 days,she was only on a milk diet as she isn't eating and swallowing her solids well due to the phlegm. She eventually vomitted it all out.

Get well soon,darling...

@ the ped clinic

She was so happy seeing other babies and kids!

After that,we proceeded to MIL's. Grandpa bought her a toy. I was thinking of getting it for Nailah the other day. What a coincidence :)

Nailah and Grandpa

2008-05-05T00:18:00.006+08:00

Lately,the weather is very heaty. It has been this way for about 2 weeks now. Level of humidity is high too. I am having throat irritations,slight fever,runny nose and chesty cough. Nailah is having light runny nose and cough. It's so pitiful seeing her cough in her sleep. We'll see her situation tomorrow,if it worsens,we'll take her to the ped. As for now,there is still some cough syrup of hers in the fridge.

I am still contemplating whether I should work or not. Or maybe... work now or later. I really can't decide. But I'm sure everyone will love to stay home and not work,right? But as for my case,I have my tertiary study loan to settle. And not forgetting the importance of CPF. I don't want to rely on hubby to settle my study loan. I believe its my responsibility.

Last week, we went to see our new house and had dinner at Jalan Kayu. Only the kitchen is yet to complete. Here are the pics from that day:

Last couple of days ago,on the way to MIL's house. Nailah upclose and personal with the cats under our block. She was kinda afraid as she refused to touch the cats and remained stiff eventhough hubby leaned her over closer. She did call out to them though :)

Over at MIL's place,she was given a biscuit. She looked at me for approval... and then decided to take matters to her own hands. Pls mind hubby's silly faces. Its his way of tackling camera-shyness ;)

I just love this pic of her sleeping!

For some reason,she is so fascinated with the wrapper of my fav chocolate!

Lemparkan seorang yang bahagia dalam bercinta ke dalam laut, pasti ia akan membawa seekor ikan. Lemparkan pula seorang yang gagal dalam bercinta ke dalam gudang roti, pasti ia akan mati kelaparan.

2008-04-30T17:18:00.004+08:00

So stressed up... I never though it will be this hard. If only my dad is here... Gosh,I feel like SCREAMING!

I have to get it soon!!!!

I can't go on idling at home.

I am so lost...

Baba,I need your guidance and support.

2008-04-23T02:43:00.006+08:00

For the past days,I have been going out with Mama and Daddy. Not as much for leisure but to get some stuffs for my new house. At last,after much contemplation and visiting numerous shops,Mama and Daddy have already bought the furnitures. My new house is near completion! And boy,was I exhausted furniture-hunting with Mama and Daddy...

What I have been up to lately...

Now I'm able to join Mama and Daddy while we are eating out! Boy,I feel like a grown up :)

At Parkway Parade last night...

I am both amazed and scared of the reactive animated 'floor'. Some kids who are OBVIOUSLY taller than I am was happily playing on it and stepping those balls.I just stood rooted to the ground. And then,Daddy brought me to a fountain and allowed me to 'touch' the water. I was scared too...but hey,only a little. Mama and Daddy knows that I'm a brave-heart girl.

2008-04-17T03:01:00.004+08:00

Yesterday evening at 6pm,we went to our new house as we had made an appointment with the curtain specialist there. Measurements were taken and fabric were chosen.

Here are some sneak previews of the semi-completed house...

Living Room

Kitchen and Service Yard

Our Room

Nailah's Room

My messy fringe due to the fan...

And Nailah having her 1st crawl ever in her new house!

2008-04-14T23:01:00.004+08:00

Hey peeps,wanna know some things I'm capable of now?

Well,since I am a few centimetres taller now,I can already reach the TV when I stand. I am so fascinated by the people and animals and other weird creatures 'inside' the TV. They are so kind to let me 'touch' them...or even 'slap' them,I must say. But yesterday, a gigantic grey creature with huge ears and long,sharp trunks scare the crap outta little me. It was running towards me! Instantly,I cried and thank god Mama was there.

And I just love messing the floor with daddy's vcds...

Mama tied my long fringe into a samurai bun!

2008-04-13T23:47:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 10TH MONTH OLD,NAILAH!!!

Mama can't believe that it has been 10 months since my tummy was 'cut open'.

And that your once tiny-weeny feet is getting bigger.

Mama and Daddy also didn't know how energetic a 10 month old can be.

And how your antics never fail to bring a smile to our faces.

We love you,Nailah!

2008-04-08T16:47:00.005+08:00

It has been nearly a month since I blogged. Nailah is getting so mobile and active that its almost impossible to leave her from my sight. I try not to let her fall but unfortunately,she has had some share of that. Part of growing up,I must say. But not too much or too hard :)

Ok,now I shall dwell on Nailah's development. She is now able to pull herself to stand and sometimes even tries to let go of her hands for a brief second. She still has no teeth but is able to chew tiny pieces of table foods with her gums. She is very interested in foods that we eat and will demand for some by whining and banging her hands. Her blabberings are getting clearer and I noticed 2 days ago that she can now say 'bye bye' and also wave goodbye to people (which she started doing about 2 weeks ago). Hmmm hubby and I noticed that she is not so into toys yet..... She prefers newspapers,vcds,combs,handles of bags,letters,shoes,cups,hankerchiefs etc. Oh,she can crawl too and she is everywhere around the house! Eating wise,she isn't ready for porridge yet as she gags it out and vomit. So she is still eating cereals plus some tiny bits of 'our food'. She loves being in the company of people,still.

And on the 13th of March,Nailah turned 9 months old! Here are some backdated pics which I should have posted last month. And do watch new YouTube videos of Nailah on the right side of the blog.Just click the thumbnails :)

And about our new house,we will be moving at the end of this month or early next month. There is just so many things to do with the house. I can't wait to move in!

Last month,hubby offered to take care of Nailah at home while I catch a movie. It is a very romantic movie and I'm glad I watched it. It was so touching that I cried... Yeah,I'm such a hopeless romantic. The soundtrack fits the movie well, Scars (Stronger for Life) by Corrinne May. The song is located on the lower right corner of my blog. Definitely,this will be one of the movies that will stay in my heart.

Scars (stronger For Life) by Corrinne May
I just want to run
Just want to hide away
Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave
Don't want to hear them say
"You're no good at this"

When the world swirls with naysayers
Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead
Drowning in my tears

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Losing myself
Gaining it back again
Forging strength from weakness
All that I am
All that I'm meant to be
Melting in your hand
Let the world swirl with naysayers
Pickled hearts and sour faces
What is real is what I cannot see

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me
Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit

Cut away
All within me
Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it

Scars make us stronger
Scars make us stronger for life

2008-03-12T15:36:00.007+08:00

WE ARE 2!!!

As a celebration,we had brunch at Changi and headed to Sengkang to see our newly-built house. It was a very wet day.We will be getting the keys on the 18th March! I can't wait. Finally,a place to call our own.

I also tried boiled cockles for the 1st time! I am a cockle-lover and after seeing people eating those boiled cockles,I decided to give it a try. And I loved it!

My fav dish,Char Kuey Teow. So far,the best I've tasted.

Our beef and chicken satays. We don't quite like mutton due to the cholestrols.

Hubby's fav dish,Chicken Briyani.

Nailah is one adventurous eater,just like daddy. Don't worry,it isn't spicy ;)

Here are some sneak previews of our new flat ;)Sorry for my not-so-fresh face. Was having tummy bloatedness and didn't feel too good.

2008-03-10T17:24:00.010+08:00

On Saturday night at 9pm,we went to Pasir Ris pond.The weather was good,luckily. And there were lots of anglers. Luck wasn't on our side though as we didn't catch any fish. It was such a bummer especially after being there for 6 hours and seeing other anglers on our left and right,having catches. Well 1 thing I have learnt is that fishing is so unpredictable! And solely luck-based. It has been our 2nd trip there and still no catches. Being a very impatient person,I was already restless. I accidentally spilled some of Nailah's cereal on my lap too. We ended the night with great determination to return tomorrow.

Donut Indulgence

The next day,we reached the pond earlier,at 8pm. We were very determined to catch at least 1 fish haha.

The rain didn't dampen her spirits!

And...

In less than 2 minutes hubby threw his bait in...

WE GOT OUR VERY 1ST FISH!

It was a wet night as it rained a little for about 30 minutes. We caught 2 fishes and called it a night at 2am. I have to admit that I kinda falling in love with fishing. And fishing has definitely exercised some patience in me ;)

Today,I deep-fried 'our very 1st fish' in a Sweet & Sour dish along with chilli kangkong. The chilli kangkong wasn't spicy enough though. So,more chilli paste next time.It was so delicious! Hubby and I have decided never to eat Sweet & Sour fish at any eating outlets again cos we can cook our very own!

Nailah have started to learn standing on her own while getting hold of something. And she can crawl too! She is now able to sit steadily and blabbers alot.

Looks like something in the crib attracted her...

My handphone! Oh no!

2008-03-04T11:56:00.004+08:00

Yesterday afternoon,hubby received a call from his bro that grandma had passed on. It was a very shocking news! The first thing that came outta my mouth when hubby told me over the phone was," Are you sure?!". It happened so sudden,too sudden. I mean we know she was doing good and taking her meds regularly to tackle her heart problems. I immediately bathed Nailah and got ready.

We reached her place at 1 30pm and her 1-room abode seemed to have turned into a typical CSI scene. There were Police,CIDs and Investigating Officers. I saw a lifeless petite figure lying slightly slanted on the single bed,covered with a batik cloth. I just couldn't believe it. Apparently,the police found a gas leakage which could have been the cause of her death. We could smell it. Grandma liked sleeping with all the windows closed. And she was living alone. Grandma didn't know how to turn the gas on too and she cooked using an electrical hotpan.

Her jewellery and cash were gone. Even her wallet and handbag. Her identification card was strangely placed on a rolled up carpet. Grandma used to tell us that she made friends eversince shifting there and that they frequently spend the night at her palce and vice versa. We didn't know them but for sure,we didn't have a good feeling. Grandma told us a month ago that she felt violated by them.How? We don't know but we advised her not to let them in and kept watch of her. Being grandma,she is big-hearted and a little too naive.

We were told by the police that there were some friends who spent the night with grandma till midnight. And since then,when morning comes,a social worker had to break open the door as she didn't even after several knocks.One of the people who spent the night with her was there and to me,she is a suspect too.

Hubby and I approached grandma and he lifted up the cloth. This is going to be my 1st time seeing a dead person,you can imagine how I felt! Her face was pale and somewhat in shock.Could it be a heart attack? Suffocation from the gas leak? Or she have been suffocated? Only the post-mortem will tell.

Her body was taken by the undertaker to the hospital mortuary. And she will only be buried today. I didn't manage to follow hubby to the mortuary and cemetery today as Nailah was tired from yesterday's visit and night fishing trip. Also,I think I may not have the courage to witness all that.

I hope for a smooth burial for her today. She will always be remembered. She was the person whom organized and handled our wedding! It was a small affair but very perfect.She stood strong by us even when others didnt agree to our love.She also took us in until we found our own place to stay. We owe so much to her. She will be deeply missed.

"The memory will never fade"

Ya Allah,

Tempatkan lah dia di golongan orang-orang yang beriman.

Ampunkanlah dosa nya.

Kepada orang-orang Islam,sedekahkan lah Al-Fatihah kepadanya,

Siti Asa Binte Puteh.

*****************

At 7 30pm last night,I followed hubby to Pasir Ris pond as he wanted so much to fish. I was forced to go as I don't feel like being alone last night. I was so bored sitting there and tending to a cranky baby for 3 hours! Nailah was so cranky.I don't blame her as her sleep was interrupted the whole day since afternoon. On top of that,I spilled a cup of Red Bull on my lap!The only best part last night were the Mee Rebus dinner and seeing hubby's line got pulled. But we didn't manage to get any fish. There were 2 or 3 misses though. Guess I would have enjoyed the trip a little if it wasn't a wet night and I can't keep grandma outta my mind.

Here are some pics of hubby. He is a talented angler!

****************

A pic of Nailah taken 3 days ago after an afternoon nap...

2008-03-01T06:47:00.003+08:00

On Thursday,we went to hubby's friend house as his wife just gave birth to their 3rd child. It was a girl! And her name is similar to mine. It's been 8 months since I held a newborn :)

Here is a picture of Nailah while I was getting ready.

2008-02-26T17:02:00.005+08:00

I have been sick for the past 2 days. My tummy just don't feel good. I was not having a diarrhoea or constipation though. It just feels so bloated and I never felt this way before. I also didn't have appetite for any food. Heartburn and nausea came too. My lower back ached like hell! I didn't go to the doc though.

Now,I am a little better. The Asam Pedas hubby and I cooked was really good. Not bad for a first-timer. But due to my sickness,I just couldn't eat it. Just a little bit of it though.

Nailah is still being cranky,especially at bedtime. It is so not her. And there are times when I caught her sucking on her toes!

She is definitely growing and up-to-date,no Separation Anxiety.

I find myself asking," Where is the little newborn I once held?"

2008-02-25T22:05:00.004+08:00

This truly saddens me.

http://ashleyisourangel.blogspot.com/

Now that I am a mother,I find myself feeling the pain.

I am so thankful to be blessed with Nailah.

May Baby Ashley and other angel babies rest in peace.

You will always be remembered.

2008-02-24T00:45:00.005+08:00

Yesterday at past midnight,we went to Newton for a late dinner. The place was packed,as usual. No doubt,its a seafood haven. Hubby wanted so much to have the cray fish and he got his wish granted at last. The rest of our dinner menu were the usual mussels,stingray and fried rice. We decided to forgo the crab for a new taste of crayfish. Nailah was kinda cranky and refused to be put in her stroller. So she was on my lap the whole time.

Nailah lookin grumpy.

Fried rice and mussels. I love mussels.

BBQ Stingray.Hubby's favourite.

Our dinner with crayfish,along with some fresh sugarcane drink. It was worth trying! And hubby loves it.

Nailah have been very attached since last week. And she begins to sometimes cry when I am not around,even for a brief moment or cry at the sight of unfamiliar faces when we are out together. She only wants to be carried and crys easily nowadays. I wonder whether this is Separation Anxiety or just the old folk's tale that she knows she is gonna have a little sibling...

Well,about me being pregnant... I'm not too sure. Hubby and I wanted another baby for sure but now the plan have changed as I planned to work and have started applying for jobs. But on the other hand, we will be happy too if I am pregnant. Only time will tell.

I will be learning to cook some new dishes soon. The first one will be Asam Pedas Ikan. I am very excited to try it out. I am not a cooking-person but now that I am a wife,I think I must at least try...at least for hubby's sake. Right now,the number of dishes that I know are very limited. So,wish me luck ;)

I took this at 7am in the morning last week. It's a view from my house. I love it! I have always love the sight of tall buildings in the city.

2008-02-16T01:23:00.002+08:00

I miss...

My old life.

I miss...

The people that we once a part of it.

I miss...

Laughter,Joy,Tears,Love and Care.

I miss...

Memories.

I miss...

You.

2008-02-13T02:38:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 8 MONTH OLD,NAILAH!

You are getting so mobile.We are glad you have learnt to enjoy being in the walker.Mama can see that you are able to get on your fours with your head high.And rocking back and forth.So still waiting for the step forward and right coordination of hands and legs.We have yet to hear more of your blabbers.Mama and Daddy love you always!

Mama never regretted giving birth and being a mother to you at a young age.Even if it means being forgone by loved ones.Even if it means not continuing my education to the university.And not starting on a career.

I lost my Dream.

But

I was given You.

And now

You are the Dream.

2008-02-12T01:23:00.000+08:00

I placed Nailah in her walker while I watched tv. She was just in front of me but when I turn to see her....

I was left with no choice but to smile.

2008-02-06T00:58:00.000+08:00

WOMAN,YOU ARE DRIVING ME UP THE WALL!

C-SECTION IS "EASY BIRTH" TO YOU???

first: you have to be totally naked in front of everyone and strapped onto an operating table- not be able to feel anything from like the neck down-have a doc SLICE AND DICE your tummy, pull apart all your abdominal muscles-cut into your uterus, pull the baby out (all the while pushing your insides up into your THROAT)-stitch up your insides AND outsides-
NOT be able to hold your baby right away.
THEN-
be in the hospital like 4 days for CONSTANT monitoring to make sure your body is coping well after the MAJOR surgery....

AND THAT MAKES ME LOVE NAILAH A WHOLE LOT LESSER,YOU SAY???

AND THAT YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN MORE COS YOU GAVE BIRTH VAGINALLY???

AND THAT YOU'RE A REAL WOMAN???

AND THAT YOU ARE PERFECT HUMAN BEING?

THAT IS SO STUPID HAHA.

WOW!

YEAH! MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY INVOLVING A DOCTOR CUTTING THROUGH A MUSCLE WALL AND PULLING A BABY OUT THROUGH A SMALL OPENING AND GOING THROUGH PAINFUL 10 WEEKS RECOVERY SOUNDS LIKE FUN,HUH.

HAVING TO STAY IN THE HOSPITAL DAYS LONGER THAT WITH A NORMAL VAGINAL BIRTH ISN'T AT ALL AN INDICATOR THAT C-SECTIONS ARE HARD??? WTF???

FOR YOUR INFO,DOCTORS DON'T PERFORM EMERGENCY C-SECTION ON DEMAND AS ITS ONLY FOR LIFE-AND-DEATH SITUATION.THAT'S WHY ITS CALLED "EMERGENCY C-SECTION". IF NOT FOR THAT,MY BABY'S HEARTBEAT WILL BECOME VERY FAST,IRREGULAR AND SHE'LL BE IN DISTRESS AND GOD KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HER AS I WAS HAVING CONTRACTIONS AND FAILED INDUCTION FOR 3 DAYS ALREADY!!!

PLEASE EDUCATE YOURSELF BEFORE PASSING A REMARK!

DON'T JUST TALK,FOR THE SAKE OF TALKING!

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A 'SHORT CUT' OR 'AN EASY WAY' WHEN A WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO A BABY.

GET THAT?

UNTIL YOU HAVE EXPERINCED A C-SECTION,YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR OPINION TO YOURSELF.

2008-01-31T01:42:00.000+08:00

Yesterday,we went to the newly-completed Terminal 3 of the airport. It was so huge! Not many people though since its a weekday. It looks like a mall too. There were many shops. Other than that,the place is nothing special. Haha I wonder why people made it such a ho-ha. On nice attraction there is the water fountain which kept Nailah staring quietly through out haha. She was so mesmerized by the sight of water shooting out at different pace from no where. It was a tiring day as we walked alot and explored the whole place. Both mine and hubby's feet hurt haha.
I can't seem to upload the video in YouTube. But through Blogger,I manage to. It's at the bottom.

Nailah having a lil' taste of a MacDonald's fry.

2008-01-28T15:48:00.000+08:00

I took this after Nailah had woken up at 2pm. Nowadays,she just loves catching and holding on to her feet.Oh ya,and she is learning how to blabber :)

2008-01-25T20:26:00.000+08:00

Been feeling kinda unwell since morning. My sleep was interrupted by a shot of excruciating stomachache in the morning at 7am. I made 2 trips to the toilet. And I feel nauseous and sluggish all day that hubby told me not to cook. Lucky me.

My little girl is always smiling at me and it made me feel top-of-the-world. She is beginning to stand upand walk a little while being in the walker. One moment she is here,and the next she is there. She is such a sweetie and I so far have no difficulties caring for her since she was a newborn. Alhamdulilah.

I can't wait to see her hair gets longer :)

2008-01-24T10:10:00.000+08:00

Nailah loves playing with daddy.

They enjoy making silly faces and noises.

And I just love watching them play!:)

2008-01-22T23:38:00.000+08:00

We went to have a look at a car as hubby thought of switching car to a more economical one. Reason being we wanted to plan our finance and concentrate more on our future kids. The salesperson suck! He was somewhat rude,seemed not keen to serve us and doesn't give a damn about me. Instead of asking me to sit in the car to see its interior with hubby,he was the one who got in! Worst of all,he doesn't know the specifications of the car!!! What the hell? And on the way back to the office,after hubby got in,I was halfway in through the open glass door when the door closes...and he didn't even hold the door for me and Nailah who was in the stroller. Bloody cock! We decided not to continue enquiring.(Hey,I have a damn fucking valid reason to be mad.... especially I already am,in the beginning of the day).

Later on,we went to see our new house again and proceeded to the nearby Jalan Kayu for dinner. We had a western dinner at Mad Jack. It was nice but too little and expensive.

Today I am so in a bad mood. Too bad that I wana pluck this particular person's hair out. I have lost all my respect for her. Never have I been disrespectful to ANYONE in my life! Asking me to break ties with my family and relatives,that was the last fucking straw! Who does she think she is? Woman,you are not my mother! She has been on my nerve for nearly 2 years! Oh I have just absolutely no mood to talk about her anymore! I also detest the sight of her. Makes me wana puke my shit out. I am not gonna trust anyone anymore.They have NO blood ties with me and anytime they ALL can turn their backs on me.

NO ONE TELLS ME HOW TO RUN MY LIFE!!!

i AM NOT A STUPID KIDDO!!!

SO WOMAN,BE JUST YOUR OWN BOSS AND BACKOUT!!!

YOU ARE OF NO SIGNIFICANCE TO ME!!!

I NO LONGER WANT TO BE A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW!!

2008-01-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

Hubby decided to bring Nailah and I to West Coast Park so at 7 30pm,we went out. Hmmm the park was big but there's nothing much.I mean the playgrounds are for 6 year olds and above so we can't get Nailah to enjoy herself (well,with our assistance that is). We also went to the seaside area and saw people fishing and fixing tents. And there were boats nearby.

Guess what? It's our 1st time at McCafe!:)

The Double Chocolate frappe is nice besides the one from Delifrance! It consists of blended ice and milk with chocolate and Oreo cookies. And the cheese cake is so creamy and delicious! Nailah likes the taste of both too! We will definitely return to McCafe some day.

Nailah tasting a lil of the cheese cake.

After finishing the frappe and cake,we went to Mc Donald's located just beside of McCafe.

Look at what a sip of Coke can do to some...

2008-01-20T23:11:00.000+08:00

We went to see our newly-built house at Sengkang yesterday. Some people have already moved in that estate. We surely can't wait to move in too. The house was small though but just nice for our 4-person family in the future. I have plans of working in the future.

Before heading to see our new house,we went surveying around Sengkang and Punggol. We decided to take in some fresh air by Punggol Beach,which also happen to be a World War 2 site!. The beach isn't really for swimming but its a great spot for getting crabs. It was very windy and the air was chilly. Lots of people were eating ice-cream (including us) while enjoying the majestic scenery of the harbour and gigantic vessels.

It was a relaxing experience and Nailah enjoyed herself!:)

On the way home,we went to Cafeela Restaurant at Jalan Kayu and had a hearty meal of 3 kinds of seafood dishes with rice. Adding to it are 2 glasses of nicely-brewed ice lemon tea to end the day.

2008-01-15T15:46:00.000+08:00

Eversince I had my c-section,my stomache is never like before. I used to have a very strong stomache. I can eat anything,spicy or suuuuuper-duuuuuper HOT and drink anything gassy. But now,at the touch of a can of ice lemon tea or Coke,I'll have this funny uncomfortable feeling. I never had issues with diarrhoea or constipation,but now,they are my newfound buddies.
Oh well.

I've been wanting to go to the new Terminal 3 of the airport (which everyone is talking about).
Soon.

And to those BBC hot blog mamas:
Welcome! ;)
I had a great read at everyone's blog!:)

2008-01-14T01:10:00.000+08:00

On 13th January 2008...

HAPPY 7 MONTH OLD,NAILAH!

Mama and Daddy are waiting for your 1st tooth

And the day to see you crawl all over the house.

You are our joy!

We love you so much.

PS. Nailah was just using the bread for teething purposes,not eating.

Today,I am very happy to be given an opportunity to meet Mami Gaya,Uncle Dollah,Mami Timah,Mami Sita,Uncle Salam,Uncle Yasin,Mak Besar,cousin Fatanah,cousin Syirah,cousin Muhd and cousin Alif. It was priceless. Uncle Salam seemed to have become an exact replica of my dad and it just makes me cry thinking of how much I'm missing him or actually hoping that its my dad I'm looking at. I feel so glad that they accepted me. And seeing their dotingness towards Nailah just touches my heart.

I'm hoping for a day whereby my family and I could be together again... Only Allah knows how I feel.

2008-01-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

At 5pm in the evening,we went to Delta Swimming Complex. It was the nearest pool at our place. It was my sudden crazy idea haha. I wanted so much to see Nailah's reaction to her first pool swim. And I wanted to get her used to playing in water. Since it was Friday,there wasn't much people,which is a good thing. I think maybe that's one of the oldest swimming complex around as its not so nice-looking.But anyway,Nailah seemed distracted and confused initially but warmed up after about 15 minutes. We started her on the steps of the baby pool and before we know it,we are IN the pool and she was so happy! Nailah had her first swim in the pool!

We headed home after 2 hours of wet fun:)

Oh ya,and my drowned hubby...

Mr Lifeguard,where are you? ;)

And...

Our shagged little mermaid who fell asleep right after her feed.

2008-01-11T03:04:00.000+08:00

Nothing is even close to the serene feeling I get from watching my daughter sleeping soundly.

She looked so beautiful and innocent.

I'm proud that she's mine.

And I'm so grateful that she is growing well each day.

I know I have raised a happy little girl.

Sweet dreams,our love.

Mama and Daddy love you so much!

2008-01-09T01:32:00.000+08:00

Had a haircut today and I'm back to having my naturally-straight hair. No more curly-wurly for me. And I love my hair so much!:)

Our little girl is just 4 days shy of turning 7 months old!

2008-01-05T18:45:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to you,Afiq!

Study hard and be a good boy.

Be a good role model for Adli.

Peer pressure will be part of your adolescence

But never succumb to it.

Your smile will always be in my heart.

I love you so much,my baby brother.

Use that kind heart of yours to

Bring good to others.

I may not get to see your growing up

To be a young man

But in my dreams

I'm sure I do.

Oh God

If I can just have a little time in life

Just to hug you...

Please never forget that sister loves you always.

2008-01-01T14:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, we went to ICA to apply a passport for me. I got scared while the photographer snapped a pic of me and luckily it was over even before I started crying. Blame it on the sudden flash,maybe. They were all saying how cute I was. Heh. So here is my very 1st passport pic! I can't wait to enter JB!

Later on in the evening,we went to Pasir Ris Park as mama misses that place so much. It reminded her of the beautiful childhood memories with her parents,maid and bro Atik. I was feeling cranky but started to loosen up when I see those colourful playgrounds and kids running everywhere. Mama and daddy got on the see-saw with me. Daddy got on the slide with me many times. But somehow,we got stuck in the middle of the slide journey as daddy's pants were not so smooth. Silly pictures of me were taken too. Guess what? I got on a swing! It was so fun! Daddy said that I am a brave girl. I didn't cringe one bit as the swing takes me to and fro. Mama and daddy,can I ride that swing again?

Wanna see the child in my daddy? He reached the very highest point and I am so proud of him :)

I had an uber-wonderful time! And boy,was I so shagged.

Oh ya,2008 is here. My wish is to be a big sister real soon!;)

2007-12-31T03:15:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone!

I have been busy for the past weeks,going to and fro to CGH to visit Uncle Imran. My sleeping was interrupted numerous times. Imagine waking up and having a bath at 10am! I always wake up at 2pm and have my bath at 6pm. But I am happy now that Uncle Imran have been discharged and recuperating well. He is yet to put on the weight he lose so as to be able to carry my body of (nearly) 7kg.

Mama and Daddy calls me 'sexy' and no doubt,I am. So I make sure now that I get my beauty sleep on time,detoxify myself by drinking lots of plain water and eating less of my semi-solids.... Errr.. Mama is having a very very hard and frustrating time getting me to eat my cereal and porridge. I puke it all out after throwing some crying tantrums. This just makes mama wanna pull all her hair out. Well,actually I prefer fruity flavours to veggie ones. Yup,I know I am picky already. But hey,if you wana stay sexy,you gotta watch what you eat right ;)

But Mama and Daddy are still very determined to get me to eat. This time,fruity flavours :)

2007-12-21T00:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Allah,

Please protect Imran. Make him recover soon to his jovial and handsome self. We miss his laughter and smile. Amin.

2007-12-13T17:48:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 6 MONTHS OLD,NAILAH!

Mummy can see that you enjoy turning and laying on your tummy.

And have started to eat many kinds of solids.

Even your milk intake have increased to 150ml.

Your laughter fills the house.

You are getting much more playful regardless the time of the day.

But our love for you is endless.

2007-12-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

Nailah had her khatan today and it went so well. She didn't cry at all! Even Dr Balkis was shocked haha. See,she's one strong lil' girl. The moment was very brief,so far from what I expected. And she has healed too! Alhamdulilah.

Nailah also got her very first haircut at Parkway Parade's Junior League. At first,she was overwhelmed and nearly cried on seeing the small flat-screened TV in front of her as Barney And Friends were singing a little too loud. Then,she too got overwhelmed by the bright colours of the sheets. I gave her the pacifier and it worked for a little while before she got distracted and started to gnaw her fists. She then vomitted halfway through... haha. The hairdresser got her another blue sheet and continued...

I wanted a china doll cut but her hair is still very short. Maybe next time after she has grown more hair :)

2007-12-11T00:36:00.000+08:00

Before...

After 2 minutes...

Tell me how can I not adore her?

She melts my heart.

2007-12-10T19:53:00.000+08:00

For the past week,I've been asking hubby to get me this. It's not my fav choc so I don't know why. I just feel like having it. I crave for it,to be exact. I crave for Crunch.Yet,I still don't know why...

2007-12-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

Today Nailah went to KKH for her general checkup. All was well alhamdulilah. My lil girl is growing well under my care! I'm so happy. Her latest weight and height check are 7.1kg and 64cm. And she also got her ears pierced! It was a sudden idea of mine since we were at Joo Chiat to get some jamu.She cried only for a little while.

Oh I love her studs and it make her look sweeter! Those studs are temporary though. After 3 weeks,it will be replaced by a pair of gold earrings which we bought just now. Which is even prettier :)

I weigh myself on a weighing scale at the hospital and guess what? It's 58kg! What the hell! Gosh this can't be me. I was 51kg before pregnant and weigh 60kg at the end of my pregnancy. I shudder just thinking about it. BOO-HOO-HOO. Oh well. I must learn to appreciate this new motherly shape of mine.... or call Miss Diet??? ;)

I also went to collect my diploma today. Waves of melancholy washed over me as I hold the diploma in my hands. It wasn't happiness or a moment of proudness,as I always pictured it to be. My heart felt so heavy. I felt sad too,sad of my own achievement. I didn't attend the ceremony as it will only make me cry. Both my parents aren't gonna be there either. So what's the point? My parents aren't gonna be there to be proud of their daughter,me. I wanted so much for them to witness my achievement cos I love them so much. I just want them to be happy and to believe in me. I love you both so much, Mama and Baba. (I can't help it but I'm crying).

I hope you both are proud of me.... from afar. I'm so sorry for shattering your dream.

Two days ago,we went to take our first studio family pic. I had to crop it due to its large size.Nailah is sure a replica of hubby in that pic! Don't ya think so? It' s amazing.

2007-12-04T02:11:00.000+08:00

Looking at Nailah now,I can't believe how much she have grown. She loves standing while being supported,grabs at things with both hands, giggles at almost any sound,eats her solids well and becoming a bestfriend of mine. It almost brought me to tears while putting her to sleep just now as she was giggling hard when I patted her and made some "Shhh... Shhh... Shhh...". I remembered when she was just a tiny newborn.

And now,she is gonna turn 6 months in just 9 days!

The best thing that I have ever done is bringing Nailah into this world. She is my world.

2007-11-29T09:53:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to my daughter,Nailah. Mama love you so much,more than anything in this world!

*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle ofyours toget her.

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for theice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes by.

*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

*Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buyus both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours,and miss my favorite TV shows.

*Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

*I will think about the mothers And fathers who are searchingfor their missing children, the mothers and fathers who arevisiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, andmothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and sc reaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thankGod for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day............

2007-11-25T15:45:00.000+08:00

Hubby and I had just finished cooking. Yes! WE cooked TOGETHER for the very first time! We made a great team in the kitchen.The menu is Nasi Lemak. Hubby decided to do so as he came up with the plan last night before going to bed. I thought he was outta his mind haha. I have to say we did GOOD for a first-timer. Enjoy the savouring pics :) We didn't put cucumber as I don't like it.

Here are also some pics of hubby's fishing trip @ Changi Waters yesterday with his angler friends from fishingkaki.com. I just love the colour of the illuminating sea!

2007-11-13T19:53:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 5 MONTH OLD,NAILAH!

You never fail to give mama and daddy your toothless smile each day.

We love hearing your happy shriekings when you see our faces.

You have been a very good little girl.

We love you so much!

Hubby went for deep-sea fishing recently at Changi waters which took almost a day. He is an angler indeed!And I plan to cook his catch in ikan masak kicap :)

I have a secret..... Shhh... I'll tell when the time comes *winks*

2007-10-30T14:31:00.000+08:00

2007-10-30T13:30:00.000+08:00

I had to share this beautiful poem I got from the internet. It made my eyes tear just thinking of my mother. To my mother, Mahsuri Binte Mohd Amin, I love you very much Mama. And I truly miss being in your arms. No one is or will ever be the same as you.

A Mother's Love

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you. You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she talk you to walk. You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by refusing to eat and tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons. You thanked her by colouring on the walls, the floor, and the furniture.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays. You thanked her by using them as a napkin.

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school. You thanked her by screaming "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a walkman. You thanked her by leaving it on the floor to be stepped on.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over the car, yourself, and her.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never practicing.

When you were 10 years old, she drove you all over, from soccer to gymnastics, to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, She took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by never once writing a letter home.

When you were 13 years old, she paid for an expensive salon haircut. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14 years old, she warned you not to hang around certain people. You thanked her by sneaking out of the house to see them anyway.

When you were 15 years old, she came home from work looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16 years old, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17 years old, she was expecting an important phone call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18 years old, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19 years old, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, and carried your bags. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20 years old, she asked whether you were seeing anyone. You thanked her by saying "It's none of your business".

When you were 21 years old, she suggested certain careers for your future. You thanked her by saying "I don't want to be like you".

When you were 22 years old, she hugged you at your college graduation. You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23 years old, she gave you furniture for your first apartment. You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24 years old, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future. You thanked her by glaring and growling "Muuuuuuuu-ther, PLEASE!".

When you were 25 years old, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30 years old, she called with some advice on the baby. You thanked her by telling her "Things are differenct these days".

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relatives birthday. You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now".

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children, and putting her in a home.

And then, one day, she'll quietly die - and everything you never did will come crashing down like thunder on your heart. So if she's still around, never forget to love her, because you only get ONE mother - and there's no love as strong as a Mother's Love.

2007-10-24T14:54:00.000+08:00

Nailah's very first toy is a pair of wrist rattles!

She has 2 newfound friends,Nyet Nyet (I gave that name) and Ga Ja Jah (Hubby gave this name). She knows which one is which.

She loves it so much! She even tries to suck Ga Ja Jah's trunk at times and lick Nyet Nyet's face.

It's Playtime!

2007-10-22T07:29:00.000+08:00

Two days ago,Nailah have started eating. Yes,eating. She is open to new tastes and swallowed well. She ate from a spoon. Yes,she has her own cartoony spoon. For a start,I fed her bananas. To my surprise,she didn't cringe and she ate cleanly without messing up.

There is more flavors for her to try. Happy eating my lil' one!

2007-10-20T01:51:00.000+08:00

When things doesn't get going,she is my ray of light.
When my spirits are dampened,she nursed my wings to soar up high.
So high that I feel very worth it.
All over again.

This little person is my world.

My flesh.

My blood.

My daughter.

2007-10-17T11:40:00.000+08:00

Ida,I cam across your blog and realize that is how I was feeling during the absence of our friendship. I know what we shared is deeper than friendship itself,we shared and built sisterhood. Never get me wrong. I never intended to forget those shared memories. If only you could see me talking to my hubby about you before I go to bed and telling him how crushed I am that you could even forget me.

"Finally, i've found e 1 dat i missed alot all this while... my very best fren ever... been treating her as my precious sis...been searching for her high and low despite how bad she n her family did to me... i knew she had forgotten me.. i tried my best 2 forget her totally... but,e urge inside me has actually forced me 2 look 4 her no matter wat..."

About what happened between our siblingsor between me andmy family,it had nothing to do with how I feel about our friendship. Decisions were self-made and I am paying a hefty loss. So please don't feel bad. Also,I never did forget you.

I am no perfect and I made mistakes. Mistakes that hurt the ones I love very much... for just to pursue my life.That aside, I never blend in into our friendship. A couple of times,thoughts of our histories made me tear. I tried to tell myself we are strangers but I couldn't. Cos I was still holding back so much. Never had a sis like you.

But now,I am very thankful to Allah that we found our friendship back. Years we spent together are just priceless. We can't afford to trade that away,can we?

"Iqah, if happens u read this, i juz wanna let u noe dat u are e greatest friend dat i ever had... i luv u... i miss u alot... Past is past.. people makes mistakes... no one is perfect in this world... aku harap di hari raye ini,dgn izin Tuhan, kite akan berjumpe... aku rindu ko sgt... :("

I miss and love you too,my bestfriend. Pray for me that a miracle will happen between me and my loved ones,just like how it is happening to us.Insyallah.

2007-10-14T02:50:00.000+08:00

On the 13th of October 2007...

HAPPY 4 MONTH OLD,NAILAH!

Oh well,I shall give a short but sweet speech. This my first raya,you know.I am now a month older (but smarter). My new achievement is now pulling my blanket or my dress (with my both hands ok) up to my chin and chew it. My hands are most of the time in my mouth and I like licking my thumb while staring at a space.I also play on my own at times while lying down when mama and daddy are busy. I overheard grandma saying that I am such a sweet and well-behaved girl. I am beaming,I know,I know. Till then,since mama and daddy are shagged,on behalf of them I shall wish "Camat Ari Aye!".

My 1st Raya with mama & daddy

Err,I wasn't prepared yet for that shot. I swear I wasn't meneran-ing.

Me & Mama

Me & Daddy

My Mama and Daddy!

And lastly,me with the most Power-Gedegak people on earth!:)

2007-10-07T12:10:00.000+08:00

Mama has been pretty exhausted and tired and busy for the past days so I will update you on my progress. I have started grabbing things...or at least my t-shirt. Don't ask why I grab it,just happens. I am learning to feel textures.And I laugh at the most silliest things Mama do. Ok, that's for now. I wanna sleep...

2007-10-04T16:37:00.000+08:00

This morning at 6 30am...

Nailah laughed for the very first time!

I was teasing and playing with her.

She made Hubby and I laughed too.

And she tasted her first baby fruit juice today!

She loves it.

Oh my,my little girl is growing up so fast...

2007-10-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

Each morning, the first thing I do when I open my eyes is...

Peep into Nailah's cot.

To get a glimpse of my little angel.

I can't believe this miracle used to be in me.

And without realizing,

A smile came across my face.

My little love.

Nur Nailah Omera.

2007-09-30T03:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night at 10pm,we went to Hawa Restaurant and had quite a heavy dinner. Nailah was sleeping soundly in the stroller.I just went ahead with what hubby ordered. We had sambal chilli crab,beef with kailan and prawn omelette. I'm glad that we finished the food,just hate wasting food. Dunno why but its heart-aching for me to see food go to waste. The chilli crab is no way comparable to Newton's. At least,we already know. We packed mee hongkong for hubby's family and went to MIL's.

Nailah with her Uncle Imran

2007-09-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

Had a bad dream last night about my bro,Atik. I hope he is doing well and is safe. Dear Allah,please protect my 3 little brothers from any harm or danger. Amin.

Atik,Afiq and Adli...

Sister love and miss the 3 of you very much.

You all will always be my baby brothers.

2007-09-28T03:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday,we went to Parkway Parade after buka since hubby wants to get an air cooler from Giant.It has been very humid according to hubby.In fact,it has been numerous times that he suggested placing an aircon but I think its a waste of money as this house is just for rent while waiting for our Sengkang house to be ready in 2010. Its at that house that there will be an aircon for him.He'll have to make do with this air cooler for the time being and he is doing way fine :)

We also bought Nailah some baby food meant for 4 months old and above.It was some kind of mashed and pureed organic fruits and vegetables. I wanted to get those sweet potatoes or sweetcorn flavours but the daddy doesn't like the idea of conditioning her to develop a sweet tooth,just like me hehe.Oh ya,it was also complete with it's pear and apple juice. I shall let her try those when she reach 4 months using the cartoony baby eating utensils we bought (just now).

Dinner was at Banquet and it was really bad. Not all the Banquet branches but the one in Parkway Parade. It was horrible. Hubby ordered the tempting-looking fried carrot cake and nasi goreng sambal while I ordered chicken rice. We both didn't finish our food.My,it tasted..... bad. I then tried getting something simple since I was not full... It was fries. Haha...of all the food.... But again,even the fries suck! I didn't finish it and we went off to MIL's. Nailah got a gift of 2 Pumpkin Patch jumpers and cash from two of hubby's generous friends.

And back home,what do the mama and daddy get?

A happy Nailah!

2007-09-27T05:27:00.000+08:00

Two days ago,I was craving for KFC before bedtime. Today after buka,we went to Parkway Parade to have a dinner of KFC and hubby got a haircut. Nailah was sleeping so soundly in the stroller as I brought her blanket along. We then went to Eunos to have a stroll and proceeded to MIL's house. It has been a long time since I went for a night stroll. It was definitely relaxing.

2007-09-26T04:02:00.000+08:00

Before I was a Mom

I never tripped over toys or forgot

words to a lullaby.

I never thought about immunizations.

I never thought about

the difficulties and risks of giving birth.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my

mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could

do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked

into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy

over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching

a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom

I never held a sleeping baby just because I

didn't want to put them down.

I never felt my heart break into a million

pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect

my life so much.

I never knew that I could love

someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside

my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a

hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and

her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make

me feel so important and happy.

I didn't know how much my parents love me.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle

of the night every 10 minutes

to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth,

the joy, the love, the heartache,the wonderment

or the satisfaction

of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,

before I was a Mom.

2007-09-22T13:17:00.000+08:00

For the past 2 days,we went to Geylang after buka.We were surveying clothes and have not yet went to the food section.At last,we have bought our hari raya clothes.Nailah is too small for those kebayas or baju kurung so I got her princessy gowns instead.This year our colour is kinda maroon red. This is our first hari raya as mama and daddy. Last year,it was just hubby and I and our theme colour was black. Actually I was already pregnant during last year hari raya,but none of us knew except that MIL kept telling me that I was pregnant.

Hari Raya 2006 with my in-laws

Nailah have started sucking her clenched fist lately. She will do that when she is dreaming or when she is just sleepy. Guess she is trying to suck her thumb but needs more time for some coordination.I still remember the time when she was just a newborn,she will suck her index finger noisily whenever she is hungry hehe. I miss those times. She is growing up so fast,don't you think so?

She is also 'talking' most of the time now to me and hubby. Now,even when we do not start talking to her,she will start first hehe.

2007-09-22T05:18:00.000+08:00

This really touched my heart and I would like to share it:

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I will marry you."

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food -
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife -
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive -
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

2007-09-19T21:13:00.000+08:00

Now I am back to cooking mode and it has been 2 days already. Yesterday I cooked nasi minyak and masala udang. Thank God,I still remember the nasi minyak recipe. I will cook that again on hari raya eve.

Today I cooked kicap ikan bawal. I have been wanting to go to Tanjong Katong to see our hari raya clothes but hubby was too tired for the past days. Oh ya,MIL and FIL bought Nailah a gold bangle and anklet. Hubby and I planned to get her ears pierced and buy her a pair of earrings when she turn 4 months old.

Nailah doing her Spiderman pose! Just look at her hands and legs.

2007-09-17T14:02:00.000+08:00

The daughter and the hubby is sleeping soundly right now. I placed her on our bed as she have not been sleeping properly since we got home last night. And now,she is sound asleep. I just can't really sleep since last night as I kinda forgotten my nasi minyak recipe. Boo-hoo-hoo. I planned to cook that special dish on hari raya night. Hmmm,I still remember the recipe actually but just kinda forget certain minor things. I have been cracking my brains out. I just hope that it will turn out the same way as how I cooked it before....

About the tremors,alhamdulilah so far there were none. Phew! Else,it'll drive me close to insanity. This morning hubby and I was watching Discovery Channel about the collapse of Hotel New World in 1986 and it was scary.

Ok,now I shall update about us. For the past 2 days,we have been going to Parkway Parade after buka. We had dinner there and bought some stuffs. I have yet to go to Taka to buy a new necklace as I broke it while drying my hair after bath :( Now tell me,I am rough or the necklace is fragile? Hehe.

Nailah just woke up... Look at the dried milk crusts below her mouth hehe. Will my girl play soccer one day just like her daddy???

Cover Girl

It was soccer socks before,now a soccer jumper suit.... Haha. She was stoned while I snap this pic. After a sec,she fell asleep.

To Parkway Parade

The Classic apek-tepi-jalan pose hehe

2007-09-13T11:01:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 3 MONTH OLD,NAILAH!

Mama and Daddy loves you so much.

Nailah learning to be IT-savvy :)

This morning we brought Nailah to the polyclinic for her jab. She was a brave girl.

WE FELT THE TREMOR!

As you can see,I am not blogging much as I am still in shock about the tremor I first felt last nite at 7 15pm. Hubby finished taking his bath and proceeded to the pc to surf the net and I was on the bed putting Nailah to sleep. Suddenly,hubby said "Iqah,is it my head or the house is shaking???".I first thought that maybe he was having a headache or that he was just joking.But then while I was on th bed sitting,I held my breath and stayed still. Subhanallah! The house swayed left to right and vice versa.It made us dizzy as if we are on a ship. We IMMEDIATELY took our wallets and hps,grabbed Nailah who was asleep and rushed to a space outside the blk.After about 15mins,we got back home.

This morning at 8am while I was getting ready to bring Nailah to the polyclinic,hubby woke up abruptly from his sleep and said "You feel????!!! I felt it!". I was standing and I remained very still. Ya Allah,the house swayed!. We got outta the house in an instant.I could see people from the 14th floor rushing down the stairs.Btw I lived on the 12th floor. Hubby carried Nailah and we rushed down by stairs.Was so tiring. We thought of straight awaygoing to the polyclinic but hubby forgotten his car keys.He had to rush back to take it.Syukur alhamdulilah,nothing happened.

I have NEVER experienced this in my life. I am kinda scared and each time I am home,I don't feel at ease. I have already packed a bag full of important stuffs such as documents,our wedding album ,hp charger etc. Just in case.... But I really hope this will pass so that I can feel safe in my home.

2007-09-10T01:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes,people just don't realize the importance of the little things in life. As little as it may seem,it is able to bring a whole lot of difference. If only... If only there is a realization.

Sometimes,we just get tired and stop reminding of the little things.

Sometimes,I need a bullet in my head.

2007-09-08T20:09:00.000+08:00

I remembered...

Exactly 1 year ago...

At THIS month...

Hubby and I conceived our lil' Nailah!

Haha I still remember the name of the doctor who broke the news to me and where. It was Dr Heng from EC Famiy Clinic @ Eunos MRT and was my first time there :)

Me: Hi doctor.
Dr Heng: Hello, Norati....
Me: You can call me Nora.
Dr Heng: Oh well,Nora. What happened to you?
Me: Uhmm... for the past week I feel very tired and lethargic. Hmmm weak.
Dr Heng: Ok...
Me: And I find myself waking up each day around 6 or 7pm and have no appetite to eat. Even the smell of food... I can't stand it. Hmmm also, I feel nauseous.
Dr Heng: Hmmm sounds like your pregnant.
Me: Haha... I don't think so,doctor...
Dr Heng: Cos the symptoms are there. When was your last menses?
Me: 2 months ago....
Dr Heng: Ok,I'll have to check your urine.

After 10 mins

Dr Heng: CONGRATULATIONS! You are pregnant.
Me: Errr but doctor,I have bought 2 test kits and it showed negative....
Dr Heng: Ok,you want to know why? Pregnancy before 6 weeks cannot be detected using those kits unless you go for a blood test. So now... you are estimated to be 7 weeks pregnant.
Me: Wow...ok.
Dr Heng: So what are your plans?
Me: Errm... I applied and have gone for the interview with the Police Force and Prison Service. Guess I can't continue.
Dr Heng: Hmmm..ok. I'll brief you abit... you can choose to go to a private doctor or a polyclinic for your prenatal checkups ya. And for labour,you can also opt for a specialist if you want to.
Me: Ok...
Dr Heng: Do you want some of the prenatal vitamins like iron and folic acid?
Me: Oh yes,sure.
Dr Heng: Ok,take care.
Me: Bye,doctor. Thanks.

I called hubby the second I got out of the clinic. I told him the news and at first he was a bit sad,by the fact that I can't proceed with the job I wanted. But soon after,he was informing his family and friends estatically. Eversince then,he rode the bike extra careful and will be very very slow when there is a hump hehe. I was on the bike till I was in my 8th month of pregnancy. Well,those were the memorable bike days...

Well,this is how it happened...

Apparently September last year,hubby and I can't decide whether for me to join the Singapore Prison Service as a Prisons Officer or try to conceive our firstborn.So we decided to leave things in God's hands. In short, we just gambled.We proceeded without protection. I went for a trial physical fitness test which includes a 2.4km run,long jump and chin-ups. I am a runner but on that day I feel so.....sluggish. I thought it may be the hot weather.I eventually passed the test and qualified for the job (I still can't believe that I could still run and jump with a baby inside me!Thank God,I didn't miscarry). I was half happy but was also half expecting I already got pregnant.I bought and tried 2 preg test kit and was negative (actually I was already pregnant!). Then,days later,I feel more sluggish and so exhausted.Went to the doc's and got my urine tested. "Congratulations,you are 7 weeks pregnant". Could also be due to the fact that at that month hubby and I fought alot (maybe due to my hormonal changes) and we made up alot too hehe.I got my dream job and a baby AT THE SAME TIME! But hubby and I chose the baby.Never regret it.

2007-09-07T22:33:00.000+08:00

My little girl is down with flu and cough. She got infected by the flu I had and hubby's cough.She didn't have fever though.Her little nose was filled with clear phlegm and it produced some kind of a noise while she breathe. She was fussy during feedings for the last 2 days and seemed to only want to drink plain water. She doesn't seem to like the favourite rice cereal, the brown rice cereal treat or her milk and slept long hours,which was very unlikely of her. She would be so stressed up and cranky and then wails.My heart ached each time I hear her cough. Poor thing! She also didn't 'talk' much to hubby and I these days. She was all moody.

Today in the evening,hubby and I bought her to the Tiong Bahru Peadiatric Specialist. The doctor used a suction pump to suck the clear phlegm out of her nose while hubby hold her head tight.She was wailing and screaming and it bought a tear to my eyes. I guess when you are a mother,your heart gets touched involuntarily. I can actually see that she felt relieved and straight away carried her close to my chest. She fell asleep. We were prescribed medicine for her cough,flu and a cream for her mild rash.

We then went to Tiong Bahru Plaza since it is in the same building. Hubby and I got her a large picture frame to frame up her studio pic taken at KKH and I toured hubby at my fav place there, Tom & Stephanie.

Back home,hubby sucked her nose out with the suction pump and gave her the medicine via a stringe while I hold and distract her. She then drank half of her milk and fell asleep. And hubby have already hang her newborn studio pic up on the wall :)

Get well soon, my baby.

2007-09-06T02:51:00.000+08:00

Aaaa-chooooo...

Gosh,I am down with flu...all of a sudden. Just finished watching Simpsons The Movie (once again) and I had a good laugh hahaha. It was so funny and stupid. I can't help it but to think of hubby when I see Homer haha. The reason could not be disclosed haha. Hubby ordered KFC delivery and it was a huge dinner.

Mummy,I'm no kacang putih seller ok!

By being on top,I can conquer the world.

2007-09-02T20:05:00.000+08:00

Nailah after having a bath and wants me to carry her hehe.

Hubby was so bummed from the friendly match that we cancelled the idea of going to MIL's. Instead, he watched soccer on scv. We chilled out and had a hearty supper of Mac Donald's delivery while Nailah was sleeping.

2007-09-01T23:55:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 12 noon to get Nailah ready as we are going out to lotsa places. After bathing and feeding her,she fell into a deep slumber and I proceeded to get dressed and then woke hubby up. Since tomorrow he is having a friendly match,he decided to buy a new pair of soccer boots. Nailah was still sleeping when we went to Queensway to buy the soccer boots. As we were about to take off to moyang's house,she woke up and it's feeding time too. I managed to feed her in the car. Moyang was very excited to see her and kept saying how similar she looks to hubby. Haha I'm so cool with that. We only stayed there for 30 minutes as it's gonna be 5 30pm and we need to proceed to Nadiya's place for kenduri of Danish's sunat. We were there till 7 30pm and then went to MIL's for awhile and went home at 9pm.

It was a long day and I am exhausted. Hubby is off to a fishing trip with his bros and their friends and will be back tomorrow morning. So tonight it's just me and Nailah.

Me & Nailah with Nadiya's fren,Liza

Me & Nailah with hot momma Nadiya. Doesn't she look like Misha Omar?

Mother & Baby

Nadiya with her lil' prince Danish & Me with my lil' princess Nailah

Lil' Danish & Me

Me & MIL with e babes

Bro-in-law Rizan & Me @ MIL's.

Nailah & her Uncle Imran @ MIL's

Story of Love hehe

Nailah's Mama & Daddy

2007-08-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

Feeling kinda unwell today that I took 2 Panadols. I have absolutely no appetite. Having a headache and tummy doesn't feel too good. But I always have the energy to tend to my lil girl. It's amazing when you are a mum.

You'll never understand why I hurt so much because you're not the one who is crying, you're not the one who is left behind, you're not the one who loved too much, and you're not the one who is holding on to someone who is gone...

2007-08-31T02:46:00.000+08:00

On the 29th August 2007 at 9 30pm,I decided to bring my lil girl to KKH Children 24-hr clinic. I had to miss watching my fav drama ,Rahsia Perkahwinan. I thought she had an ear infection at the right ear but alhamdulilah,it was nothing serious. It was just a lil water that got in while bathing. The water mixed with the wax and so it looks like a discharge. You see,my lil girl is very active while getting her hair shampooed no matter how hard I try to cover those ears to prevent water from entering,she will jerk her head from left to right and right to left. Now, I have a new technique for shampooing her hair and most importantly,she adapts well to it.She almost got admitted since her temperature was 37.7 oC but was discharged when her temperature dropped to 37.0 oC. Upon discharge,we were given olive oil ear drop. Oh ya,her latest weight and height check... teng teng teng... 5.1kg and 59cm. My little girl is growing :)

Yesterday evening,we went to Parkway Parade and I bought Nailah 2 pairs of mittens and booties and a ballerina-like tights from Kiddy Palace. I had Cowboy Steak and hubby had Shark Fin soup and seafood noodle. I can't believe hubby forgot to take my Banquet Membership card which he left on the table. :\ He will have to make a new one for me.

We then went to Tanjong Katong and bought Nailah some PJs,you know the kinda shirt with tiny holes? Hehe I love that and it reminds me of my childhood days. I wore that and now I want my lil girl to wear it too.

@ Parkway Parade.

In the Nursery @ Parkway Parade Isetan. We stopped for a diaper change and a feed.She loves looking up to him.

@ home. She was a little cranky before sleeping.

2007-08-27T20:35:00.000+08:00

Last night,while putting Nailah to sleep,hubby and I watched Simpsons The Movie dvd. It was so funny and very stupid hehe. Homer is just like Mr Kiasu. When I have the time,I would want to watch it again.

Just now Nailah fell asleep after her bath and a feed. She was a little cranky during her bath. And now,just look at how soundly she sleeps.

2007-08-27T00:58:00.000+08:00

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26, 2007

At 8pm,we decided to go to Joo Chiat to have dinner.Nailah was sleeping when we got out of the house.I'm glad that the laundry has been done before we go out. I had Kueh Teow Hongkong (wasn't that nice) and hubby had chicken rice. Nailah was all the time on my lap while I ate. Can't wait for her neck to be strong so that we can put her in the stroller. After dinner,we proceeded to MIL's and stayed there till 12midnight. I had dinner there again. Don't know why, I am very hungry these days hehe. Here are some pics taken:

This is me and Nailah with our black Mitsubishi.

Don't they look alike?

Uncle Imran feeding her for the first time @ MIL's.

2007-08-25T23:39:00.000+08:00

I had the best fried kueh toew ever! I have been wanting to eat spicy fried kueh teow since 2 days ago (no,I'm not pregnant) and thanks to hubby for buying it today. I told hubby to request for an extra spicy one. Hubby also packed another food which I like,Sambal Fish and rice. I will save that one for later since hubby will be off to a fishing trip at Changi with his bros and some friends and will be back in the morning. So there is just Nailah and I tonight.

I love him to bits.

And how could I get enough of her? She's just so angelic and innocent.

They complete me.

2007-08-22T19:28:00.000+08:00

Today's weather is just so nice. I had a good sleep in the afternoon. Just now,I was bathing my chubby-mac-chubbster. And now,she is sleeping after a feed. Can't wait to watch Rahsia Perkahwinan later at night. I just love the drama,as it is based on true life accounts in marriage life. Now,it's my turn to bathe and have dinner.

2007-08-22T00:02:00.000+08:00

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21, 2007

Just now,the mama and her daughter went to Tiong Bahru Plaza to get some toiletries and to window-shop. The mama couldn't resist the sight of cute lil dresses but fought the urge to splurge on it since the daughter at present has quite a number of those cute apparels.

After an hour and a half,I decided to go back before she gets cranky or hungry. You might wonder how did I shop with her tagging along.... Oh,I used a baby carrier and she was at my chest,just like a lil baby kangaroo in its momma's pouch hehe. Nevertheless,this is not the first time I went out with her (so far only to Tiong Bahru Plaza) and she was a very well-behaved baby.

As soon as we got home,she was still sleeping...and continued sleeping....

She wakes up for a midnight feed...

After the feed...

2007-08-20T23:24:00.000+08:00

I feel like thrash today.
I have cried more than I should.
I feel so helpless.
I am in pain.
And I wish
That my family is here.
By my side.

I would like to take this opportunity to leave a message for hypocrites in my life:

I don't need your time or care. I'd better lose you than keep a fake. And losing you,will not have any impact on me.From this very moment,YOU are history.

2007-08-19T20:55:00.000+08:00

Dear Nailah,

Everytime I look at you, I can't believe that I had in me all this courage and strength to go through a ceasarean section despite feeling very much vulnerable from the moment I was pushed to the operating theatre. As I hold you close to my heart, I pray that I will be here to see and share all your goals and accomplishments. Never before has life seemed so precious to me. I wish I could bottle this time that we share together.

As I look upon your sleeping, angelic face, I am amazed. I hold you so close that I feel your breath and I desperately hold on to this feeling. When you grow older, perhaps you won't recall how I held you each day. But, my daughter, these precious moments I will never forget.

I know that life will hold many triumphs and trials for you. I want to be there to share in your joys and to be your shoulder when you need to cry. I feel such a fierce, overwhelming desire to protect you from all the evils of this world. Sometimes I will hold you a little too tight - forgive me, you are my world.

There are many lessons that I want to teach you. Perhaps the hardest ones will be the ones you learn yourself. I wish that I could learn them for you, for my heart aches at the thought that you may fail at some of life's bittersweet lessons. But, please know, that no matter what, you will always have my unconditional, undying love.

Even if we lived forever, I could not even begin to show you the depth of my love for you. I love you more than life itself and I would give my life for you without a seconds hesitation. Please know that you are and will always be the light of my life. You have made my life complete.

I Love You,
Mama

*~ A Woman at Heart ~*

~ A Woman at Heart ~